Monday, 22 August 2016


Social Media Affects Child Mental Health.

Is it time to UNFRIEND Facebook?

Facebook tracks your use of the internet - and thus knows much about your personal life.

All of the Creepy Things Facebook Knows About You

Facebook compiles a list of personal details about you.

The Washington Post points out that Facebook knows every time you visit certain pages on the internet.

Facebook works with companies like Epsilon and Acxiom who gather information from government records.

Facebook most likely knows your Location, Age, Income and net worth, Home value, if you are away from family or hometown, your parents, your political interests, your job, your boss, your wealth, your travels etc.

Washington Post

Reportedly, Facebook can cause depression.

"One potential cause for depression involves the extremely negative comments that some Facebook users may leave behind.

"This form of 'cyberbullying' is far too common and can lead to emotional distress given the kind of language used."

Exploring Facebook Depression | Psychology Today

The USA's National Security Agency has this Facebook photo in its files.

What it looks like when the NSA hacks into your Gmail and Facebook.

You can be impersonated, and fake material can appear on your Facebook page.

I Was Impersonated On Facebook - Forbes.

You might be unfriended.


At least 63% of people report having unfriended someone on Facebook.

Why We Unfriend - The Atlantic.

A relation of mine was recently unfriended by someone on Facebook.

I tried to comfort them by pointing out that I have recently been unfriended by at least half a dozen people.

At Slate, we read about The psychology of unfriending someone on Facebook.

Christopher Sibona, of the University of Colorado Denver, speculates that we are often unfriended, on Facebook, by people who disagree with us about religion or politics. 

I know that four members of my extended family have unfriended me because they do not want to be associated with a 'conspiracy theorist' who believes that 9 11 was an inside job.

Who wants their buddies to know that they have a 'conspiracy theorist' in the family?

Christopher Sibona writes: "the cost of maintaining Facebook friendships is pretty low.

"If you make a conscious effort to push a button to get rid of someone, that can hurt." 

My impression is that Facebook is mainly for young women who like to communicate with a small group of very close buddies.

If you are not one of those close buddies, then you 'friendship' on Facebook is an irritation and might be an embarrassment. 

So far as I can see, men are posting less on Facebook.

A 2016 report published by The Information on revealed that Facebook has been struggling to reverse a 21% decline in 'original sharing,' or personal updates, from its 1.6 billion monthly active users.

Facebook is OK for photos of the kids and the holidays.

But, not everyone wants their non-buddies to view these and leave comments.

Not everyone wants their hen night or stag do to be seen by all their Facebook 'friends'.

And not everyone wants news, politics and religion.

Facebook Users Are Sharing Less - Fortune.

Below is what we wrote in an earlier post:

True Friends don't worry about the pecking order.

Facebook can become like the big family get-together at Christmas.

"Christmas time," explains psychologist Oliver James, "triggers historic enmities like nothing else.

All of us, at some time or other, worry about status.

Ideally, we should never worry about status.

If we find that we only get one Christmas card, and that we only have one Facebook friend, we should not worry.

If we we are abandoned by our mother and fail to get any qualifications at school, we should not worry.

If we lose our job, our pension, and our wife, we should not worry.

All that matters is that we have a noble soul.

And if we have a noble soul, we have high status.

And if we have a noble soul we don't have to worry about the 'pecking order' or 'being one up'.

And if we have a noble soul we may even start getting Christmas cards from the people who matter most.

Worldly Status has been linked to 'pecking order'.

But remember that Jesus said: He who is last shall be first, and he who is first shall be last.

An acquaintance with an inferiority complex may try to lower your status, in order to make themselves feel better.

Even members of your own family may try to lower your status.

To lower another person's status:

Talk sarcastically to them.

Make them wait for you.

Tease them.

Laugh at them.

Criticize something they did.

Insult them.

Give them unsolicited advice.

Ignore what they said and talk about something else.

Disregard their opinion.


Reportedly, from the World's point of view, high-status behaviors include: 

When walking, assuming that other people will get out of your path.

Interrupting before you know what you are going to say.

Creating the feeling that you are a parent talking to a child.

Speaking authoritatively, with certainty.

Making decisions for a group; taking responsibility.

Evaluating other people's work.


Reportedly, low-status behaviors include: 

When walking, moving out of other people's path.

Looking away from the other person's eyes.

Beating around the bush when talking about something that will displease the other person.

Shouting as an attempt to intimidate the other person.


If you want to raise another person's status

Ask their opinion about something.

Ask them for advice or help.

Downplay your own achievement in comparison to theirs.

Mention a failure or shortcoming of your own.


Eric Berne, who wrote about the games people play.

Do your associates and members of your family play 'power games'?

Prisoners find ways to manipulate their prison guards, in order to get 'one-up'.

School children find ways to irritate their teachers, in order to compensate for a perceived lack of power.

Spouses find ways to manipulate the emotions of their partners.

Power games involve the struggle for psychological one-upmanship, often employing passive–aggressive behaviour.

Here are some examples:

1. A husband, wife and their children debate where to go on holiday.

The husband and children opt for the Island City House Hotel in Key West in Florida.

The wife opts for the Westgate Las Vegas Resort & Casino in Las Vegas.

The family ends up at the Key West Hotel.

The wife feels the need to publicly find fault with everything at the hotel, although secretly she thinks the hotel is superb.

The following year, the wife begs to be taken back to the Key West Hotel.

2. Your boss is driving you to a conference in Zurich.

He is finding it difficult to locate the 'Sonnenberg Convention Center'.

You point out to him that the building being sought is the red roofed building on the right.

Your boss ignores you and drives around the city for a further twenty minutes, before returning to the street with the red roofed building.

Your boss claims to have found the red roofed 'Sonnenberg Convention Center' due to his own excellent skills.

3. A woman called Ophelia pays her regular visit to her elderly mother.

Ophelia happens to be carrying a travel brochure which she has picked up for her entertainment.

The elederly mother says to Ophelia: "You have not had a holiday for many years. Why don't you take a holiday?"

Before Ophelia can reply, the elderly mother coughs loudly and says: "I am feeling quite faint."

A week later, Ophelia says to her elderly mother: "Would you like me to take you for a little walk?"

The elederly mother replies: "You poor soul, have you no friends to accompany you on a walk."

Mone of us are not quite what we seem.

Dr Max L├╝scher, born 1923 in Switzerland, is the Swiss psychotherapist who developed the Luscher Color Test to test moods, feelings and attitudes:

Colorquiz or The Luscher Color Test

Luscher, in his book The 4-Color Person, describes what we may be like, if we are not happy and balanced.

He describes the following types of people:

1. The Good Natured Angel

Good Natured Angels  do 'good deeds'.

They expect their victims to enslave themselves in eternal gratitude and devotion.

Good Natured Angels often have another side to them.

Good Natured Angels can be Discontented Devils.

Discontented Devils have secret self doubts.

They put aside their own need for intimacy.

Discontented Devils can be agitated, irritable, over-critical, self-pitying, easily exausted loners.

Dissatisfied Devils do not know how to achieve relaxed closeness.

This can be because of a disturbance in their relationships with their mothers.

Dissatisfied Devils don't have the solid foundations of trust and devotion which can ultimately outlast all sensitivities and conflicts.

They seem incapable of being content with their existing partner.

The Good Natured Angels who are Discontented Devils need to learn to avoid exaggerated self-sacrifice if they want to find contentment.

The dissatisfied devil needs to learn about relaxed closeness, moderation, and contentment

Photo by Leebobs

2. The Conceited Peacock

The conceited peacock tends to be bossy, stubborn and overrating.

Beneath the arrogance lies stupidity.

Conceited peacocks may suffer from impotence or frigidity.

Sex functions as a means of dominating their mates.

They think they are very conscientious, but often they don't do anything.

The other side to the Conceited Peacock is the mocking Agile Snake.

Agile Snakes have secret self doubts.

They have an inferiority complex.

The Agile Snake may take a lover, in order to be more independent of their wife/husband. 

Or because they find their existing partner is not absolutely perfect.

Secretly they yearn for tender and affectionate togetherness.

But they don't want to be dependent on anyone.

The Agile Snakes inferiority complex will disappear as they become more noble and fair.

3. The Pompous Showoff

The pompous showoff likes the idea of large houses, large cars, and large armies.

They like to impress others.

They will choose their partners for social reasons, to impress society. 

They judge a relationship by its market value.

When things go wrong, the pompous showoff becomes a Tormented Martyr.

Tormented martyrs swim in self-pity.

They turn every joy into a duty.

They enjoy being tragic heroes.

Instead of using their abilities, and increasing their self-confidence, they founder in passivity.

When the pompous showoff has some REAL achievements, unrelated to impressing the herd, then they will gain genuine self confidence and not need to be pompous and boasting.

To gain self-confidence, the martyr must stop being passive and instead be ready for peaceful achievement and peaceful challenge.

4. The Expectant Visionary

Expectant visionaries defend themselves against reality by reinterpreting reality.

They are romantics and approach a new mate full of enthusiasm.

However the mate becomes less attractive sexually once he/she becomes a familiar reality for them.

Just when genuine love ought to develop, visionaries lose interest in their mate and look for something new.

Visionaries enjoy travel, in the hope of finding new illusions.

They live for the future, or the past, but cannot live in the present.

They are wishful thinkers.

When Expectant Visionaries become disillusioned, they become Armoured Knights.

The armoured knight supports the military.

The armoured knight seeks safety and security once they have taken a lot of disappointments.

They are filled with distrust. They may be paranoid.

They require order.

They may take up a creed which supports crusades, inquisitions and wars.

They may distrust their mates and be filled with jealousy.

The armoured knight needs to become less pedantic and less compulsive.

The visionaries will lose their restlessness by being more realistic and developing themselves in a happy, free and light-hearted manner.

5. The Balanced Type is:

A. Noble, charitable, flexible, self respecting and fair.

B. Moderate, peace-loving and content.

C. Self confident as a result of his/her achievements.

D. Happy, light-hearted and independent as a result of self development and not clinging to worldly goods.

Oliver James

According to someone who worked in a psychiatric hospital:

"Patients had 'events' mostly on days when visited by... 'loving, supportive families'.

"One girl in her twenties, who was before that time a school teacher, climbed the wall when she was told her mother was coming to visit her that day.

"Climbing the wall is an understatement, she became inhuman - not a pretty sight."

Comment by a member of the public on The Genes Don't Fit, by Oliver James, 16/10/2010, New Statesman (Read more)

1. Psychologist Oliver James has analysed the behaviour of George W Bush

"Barbara Bush is described by her closest intimates as prone to 'withering stares' and 'sharply crystalline' retorts. 

"She is also extremely tough. 

"When he was seven, Bush's younger sister, Robin, died of leukaemia and several independent witnesses say he was very upset by this loss. 

"Barbara claims its effect was exaggerated but nobody could accuse her of overreacting: the day after the funeral, she and her husband were on the golf course."

Read more

2. According to UK psychologist Oliver James:

"The closer a nation approximates to the American model ... the greater the rate of mental illness amongst its citizens".

According to Oliver James, Americanism means, for example:

1. Women rejecting the role of the mother.

2. Television corrupting people.

3. Children spending too much time at school.

(OLIVER JAMES INTERVIEWED (2004): If You're Happy and You Know It) 

3. Oliver James has written 'How Not to F*** Them Up'. 

"Basically I was fucked up by my mother," says Oliver James.

"She had four children under the age of five and found it difficult to cope.

"Often, I was left crying in my pram at the bottom of the garden."

(Oliver James: It's all about you - Profiles, People - The Independent)

4. "Christmas time," explains Oliver James, "is a fixed ritual setting which triggers historic enmities like nothing else.

"The culmination of all these; in the form of present-giving, the pecking order at the table, who does the washing-up, means the shit really hits the fan at this time of year.

"People revert back to being a child without realising it."

To avoid the usual tensions ... Oliver James suggests that we identify what role we occupy in our family, then do the exact opposite.

(Jingle hell: Stories from those who avoid christmas.)

5. Oliver James is in favour of 'love bombing' for children.

He argues that feeling loved is a better remedy than dishing out rules and punishment.

"In fact, feeling loved is far more important for childhood discipline than rule-making and punishment.

"At the heart of the matter is that a sense of being satisfied only comes from having demands met - needy, aggressive behaviour comes from feeling dissatisfied."

(Love bombing kids to get happy results


  1. Crazy-sounding connections ... a woman linking Rupert Murdoch, Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, Tony Blair & CIA-Google's Eric Schmidt

    Wendi Deng (born 1968), is the Chinese former wife of Rupert Murdoch for 14 years, after being spotted by him whilst an intern at Murdoch's NewsCorp Hong Kong offices

    Wendi Deng is publicly rumoured to have had affairs with former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair & CEO Eric Schmidt of Alphabet-Google

    Wendi Deng is now allegedly dating Vladimir Putin according to 'Us Weekly' ... Wendi has been photographed on the yacht of Putin's friend Roman Abramovitch

    Wendi Deng was just photographed in Croatia with Donald Trump's daughter Ivanka

    Once in the UK when Rupert Murdoch was attacked with a pie-in-the-face, Wendi quickly hit the attacker & then threw the pie back at him (video)

  2. I have read about young people getting very upset because they got drunk and then put out some really stupid stupid stuff on Facebook and woke up the next day and thought WTF!