Thursday, 15 October 2015

POWER GAMES

...
Eric Berne, who wrote about the games people play.

Do your associates and members of your family play 'power games'?

Prisoners find ways to manipulate their prison guards, in order to get 'one-up'.

School children find ways to irritate their teachers, in order to compensate for a perceived lack of power.

Spouses find ways to manipulate the emotions of their partners.

Power games involve the struggle for psychological one-upmanship, often employing passive–aggressive behaviour.


Here are some examples:

1. A husband, wife and their children debate where to go on holiday.

The husband and children opt for the Island City House Hotel in Key West in Florida.

The wife opts for the Westgate Las Vegas Resort & Casino in Las Vegas.

The family ends up at the Key West Hotel.

The wife feels the need to publicly find fault with everything at the hotel, although secretly she thinks the hotel is superb.

The following year, the wife begs to be taken back to the Key West Hotel.



2. Your boss is driving you to a conference in Zurich.

He is finding it difficult to locate the 'Sonnenberg Convention Center'.

You point out to him that the building being sought is the red roofed building on the right.

Your boss ignores you and drives around the city for a further twenty minutes, before returning to the street with the red roofed building.

Your boss claims to have found the red roofed 'Sonnenberg Convention Center' due to his own excellent skills.



3. A woman called Ophelia pays her regular visit to her elderly mother.

Ophelia happens to be carrying a travel brochure which she has picked up for her entertainment.

The elederly mother says to Ophelia: "You have not had a holiday for many years. Why don't you take a holiday?"

Before Ophelia can reply, the elderly mother coughs loudly and says: "I am feeling quite faint."

A week later, Ophelia says to her elderly mother: "Would you like me to take you for a little walk?"

The elederly mother replies: "You poor soul, have you no friends to accompany you on a walk."



Mone of us are not quite what we seem.

Dr Max Lüscher, born 1923 in Switzerland, is the Swiss psychotherapist who developed the Luscher Color Test to test moods, feelings and attitudes:

Colorquiz or The Luscher Color Test

Luscher, in his book The 4-Color Person, describes what we may be like, if we are not happy and balanced.

He describes the following types of people:


1. The Good Natured Angel

Good Natured Angels  do 'good deeds'.

They expect their victims to enslave themselves in eternal gratitude and devotion.

Good Natured Angels often have another side to them.



Good Natured Angels can be Discontented Devils.

Discontented Devils have secret self doubts.

They put aside their own need for intimacy.

Discontented Devils can be agitated, irritable, over-critical, self-pitying, easily exausted loners.

Dissatisfied Devils do not know how to achieve relaxed closeness.

This can be because of a disturbance in their relationships with their mothers.

Dissatisfied Devils don't have the solid foundations of trust and devotion which can ultimately outlast all sensitivities and conflicts.

They seem incapable of being content with their existing partner.
The Good Natured Angels who are Discontented Devils need to learn to avoid exaggerated self-sacrifice if they want to find contentment.

The dissatisfied devil needs to learn about relaxed closeness, moderation, and contentment


Photo by Leebobs

2. The Conceited Peacock

The conceited peacock tends to be bossy, stubborn and overrating.

Beneath the arrogance lies stupidity.

Conceited peacocks may suffer from impotence or frigidity.

Sex functions as a means of dominating their mates.

They think they are very conscientious, but often they don't do anything.



The other side to the Conceited Peacock is the mocking Agile Snake.

Agile Snakes have secret self doubts.

They have an inferiority complex.

The Agile Snake may take a lover, in order to be more independent of their wife/husband. 

Or because they find their existing partner is not absolutely perfect.
Secretly they yearn for tender and affectionate togetherness.

But they don't want to be dependent on anyone.

The Agile Snakes inferiority complex will disappear as they become more noble and fair.


5. The Pompous Showoff

The pompous showoff likes the idea of large houses, large cars, and large armies.

They like to impress others.

They will choose their partners for social reasons, to impress society. 

They judge a relationship by its market value.



When things go wrong, the pompous showoff becomes a Tormented Martyr.

Tormented martyrs swim in self-pity.

They turn every joy into a duty.

They enjoy being tragic heroes.

Instead of using their abilities, and increasing their self-confidence, they founder in passivity.

When the pompous showoff has some REAL achievements, unrelated to impressing the herd, then they will gain genuine self confidence and not need to be pompous and boasting.

To gain self-confidence, the martyr must stop being passive and instead be ready for peaceful achievement and peaceful challenge.


7. The Expectant Visionary

Expectant visionaries defend themselves against reality by reinterpreting reality.

They are romantics and approach a new mate full of enthusiasm.

However the mate becomes less attractive sexually once he/she becomes a familiar reality for them.

Just when genuine love ought to develop, visionaries lose interest in their mate and look for something new.

Visionaries enjoy travel, in the hope of finding new illusions.

They live for the future, or the past, but cannot live in the present.

They are wishful thinkers.



When Expectant Visionaries become disillusioned, they become Armoured Knights.

The armoured knight supports the military.

The armoured knight seeks safety and security once they have taken a lot of disappointments.

They are filled with distrust. They may be paranoid.

They require order.

They may take up a creed which supports crusades, inquisitions and wars.

They may distrust their mates and be filled with jealousy.

The armoured knight needs to become less pedantic and less compulsive.

The visionaries will lose their restlessness by being more realistic and developing themselves in a happy, free and light-hearted manner.



8. The Balanced Type is:

A. Noble, charitable, flexible, self respecting and fair.

B. Moderate, peace-loving and content.

C. Self confident as a result of his/her achievements.

D. Happy, light-hearted and independent as a result of self development and not clinging to worldly goods.


Oliver James

According to someone who worked in a psychiatric hospital:

"Patients had 'events' mostly on days when visited by... 'loving, supportive families'.

"One girl in her twenties, who was before that time a school teacher, climbed the wall when she was told her mother was coming to visit her that day.

"Climbing the wall is an understatement, she became inhuman - not a pretty sight."

Comment by a member of the public on The Genes Don't Fit, by Oliver James, 16/10/2010, New Statesman (Read more)

1. Psychologist Oliver James has analysed the behaviour of George W Bush


"Barbara Bush is described by her closest intimates as prone to 'withering stares' and 'sharply crystalline' retorts. 

"She is also extremely tough. 

"When he was seven, Bush's younger sister, Robin, died of leukaemia and several independent witnesses say he was very upset by this loss. 

"Barbara claims its effect was exaggerated but nobody could accuse her of overreacting: the day after the funeral, she and her husband were on the golf course."

Read more

2. According to UK psychologist Oliver James:

"The closer a nation approximates to the American model ... the greater the rate of mental illness amongst its citizens".

According to Oliver James, Americanism means, for example:

1. Women rejecting the role of the mother.

2. Television corrupting people.

3. Children spending too much time at school.

(OLIVER JAMES INTERVIEWED (2004): If You're Happy and You Know It) 

3. Oliver James has written 'How Not to F*** Them Up'. 

"Basically I was fucked up by my mother," says Oliver James.

"She had four children under the age of five and found it difficult to cope.

"Often, I was left crying in my pram at the bottom of the garden."

(Oliver James: It's all about you - Profiles, People - The Independent)



4. "Christmas time," explains Oliver James, "is a fixed ritual setting which triggers historic enmities like nothing else.

"The culmination of all these; in the form of present-giving, the pecking order at the table, who does the washing-up, means the shit really hits the fan at this time of year.

"People revert back to being a child without realising it."

To avoid the usual tensions ... Oliver James suggests that we identify what role we occupy in our family, then do the exact opposite.

(Jingle hell: Stories from those who avoid christmas.)

5. Oliver James is in favour of 'love bombing' for children.

He argues that feeling loved is a better remedy than dishing out rules and punishment.

"In fact, feeling loved is far more important for childhood discipline than rule-making and punishment.

"At the heart of the matter is that a sense of being satisfied only comes from having demands met - needy, aggressive behaviour comes from feeling dissatisfied."

(Love bombing kids to get happy results thetelegraph.com.au)

5 comments:

  1. Former US Marine Ken O'Keefe has become the Zionists worst media nightmare; educated, informed, articulate, and a determined defender of Palestian Human Rights, whilst holding nothing back in his exposure of the Israeli Government's genocidal agenda. Ken addresses current events in Palestine, Syria, and explains how the unfolading Middle Eastern tragedy ties into the Central Banking cartel's quest for Global Domination.

    Has Zionism become the world's worst enemy. The psychopaths run the world.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxOizB7L8XI

    Do psychopaths have Neanderthal genes? It is believed that some Neanderthals mated with humans.

    Neandertal Was a Psychopath and Sensation Seeker, by Del Wolf Thiessen. A very interesting site:

    http://darksideofthebrain.com/?p=1106

    Extract:

    "Here is my hypothesis. This early human Neandertal shared several traits that we see in psychopathic modern humans: it was agile, mesomorphic, aggressive, risk taking, probably dependent heavily on quick processing of critical information (System-1 style) and less dependent on conceptual processing of environmental information (System-2 style). The mesomorphic body form suggests higher levels of blood testosterone, and possibly higher levels of dopamine, greater sensation seeking, high risk taking, and lower levels of monogamous bonding. In other words, Neandertal may have been the early human representation of the psychopathic personality'

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oliver James is a great guy. His new book out next year is called, Not In Our Genes. Scientists now know that early life experiences shape who we are more than genes do.

    Neuroplasticity: the brain changes its structure according to the environment. Being born poor in some American cities may lead to gun and drug crime and early death. But being born in many other societies people may be very relaxed and not have drug and problems.

    Epigenetics: our genes are programmable and can be switched on and off according to the environment we live in.

    Scientists can make neurotic rats by taking them away from their mothers too early. They then get to live in a horrible environment. The rats become violent and will take more drugs and alcohol. When they have pups scientists note the pups are neurotic. It takes three or more generations to get pups that are normal.

    Scientists can take neurotic pups from the neurotic mothers and put them with mothers that are calm and relaxed. The pups then grow into relaxed and sociable animals. Scientists then take calm pups and put them with neurotic mothers, but then the pups learn how to be neurotic.

    In a hostile environment, like one with lots of cats in, jumpy nervous rats live longer than the ones that are calmer and more optimistic. Animals adapt to their environments. Man is the most adaptive creature of them all and can live in any part of the world. We have a long childhood so that we can learn, and be taught, about how to survive in our environment.

    The Right prefer it who we are is purely the result of our genetics because then they can say that how people turn out has nothing to do the society they live in. They will also argue that high quality schooling is wasted on the lower classes, and that all welfare is money down the drain too. They say that conservative capitalist societies are not the reason why so many people are poor. They say the underclass are lazy, but it is really it is the result of learned helplessness. They learnt from their parents to expect nothing except more shit. Then taking a drug is better than nothing. Lots are on doctors meds, anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a quality comment.

      ASolo

      Delete

  3. Word Games: Disgraced speaker Dennis Hastert will plead GUILTY of paying to cover up underage gay sex - and faces prison after agreeing to plea deal

    Notice how the DailyFail uses semantics that distort and minimize the act of rape on a child.

    ASolo

    ReplyDelete
  4. e) All of the above.
    The Rothschilds & The Destruction of Western Civilization
    https://youtu.be/CiVSvnPsuaE

    ReplyDelete