LUNCH WITH MACHIAVELLI

I am having lunch, at London's Gladio restaurant, with Niccolo Machiavelli, the crypto-Jew who is the founder of modern politics.

I want to ask him what he thinks about some of the leading characters in politics.

We order Fagot Versace, Spaghetti Camorra, and a bottle of Licio Gelli Barolo Riserva DOCG

Niccolo begins by explaining that we should always see politics as a sick joke.

He chuckles and says: "In 1973 Kissinger, famous for destroying lives with napalm, won the Nobel Peace Prize."


Machiavelli

Niccolo tells me that most of today's leading figures appear to be working for the security services who in turn seem to be working for the leading feudal lords.

Niccolo says: "Red Ken Livingstone tells the public that a bunch of Mad Moslems did the 2005 London bombings. No mention of the spooks. So Red Ken is most likely a spook.

"And the Archbishop of Canterbury wants Britain to bomb Syria. So he is most likely in MI6."

As Niccolo begins to tuck in to his fagot, I ask him to name some other British characters that he finds most interesting.

Niccolo reels off some names: "Russell Brand, Jeffrey Archer, David Mellor, Robert Maxwell, Peter Mandelson, Keith Vaz, Max Mosley and Tony Blair."

I ask Niccolo if anything has changed over the centuries.

"Before Bush and Obama," says Niccolo, "We had Cesar Borgia."


Cesar Borgia

Niccolo takes a sip of wine and then continues: "Cardinal Cesar Borgia was the illegitimate son of Pope Alexander VI.

"Cesar Borgia ordered Ramiro d'Orco to subdue a certain province, with great cruelty. Borgia then had Ramiro d'Orco executed, with extreme cruelty."

Our Spaghetti Camorra arrives.

I ask Niccolo about his religious views.

Niccolo says: "Michael Ledeen said of me: 'Listen to his political philosophy, and you will hear the Jewish music'.

"I am a fan of Moses," continues Niccolo, "Moses was forced to kill lots of people. He had no choice."

Leo Strauss.

"I am an admirer of the neoconservatives and of Leo Stauss," continues Niccolo.

"For me, and for Leo Strauss, 'deception is the norm in political life'.

"Rulers should pretend to be good, while actually being cruel."



I ask Niccolo if he can tell me about some of the great rulers of the past.

"When Empress Irene of Byzantium overthrew her son, she had him blinded," explains Niccolo.

"The Roman Emperor Constantine, who was made a saint for converting the Roman Empire to Christianity, killed his own wife and a son.

"When Godfrey of Bouillon and his Crusaders took Jerusalem in 1099, they slaughtered every Muslim and Jew, 70,000 men, women and children, in a single day."

And what about Niccolo's sex life?

"Well, I lived in Florence," explains Niccolo, "So naturally I have had sexual relations with boys."

Our coffee arrives.