SHAMANIC DREAM World - Alberto Villoldo
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Tuesday 29 November 2022
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Tim Cook Says He's Ready To Pull Twitter From App Store Once President Xi Gives The Order
Apple CEO Tim Cook confirmed this morning that he's prepared to remove the Twitter app from the App Store but that he's waiting for orders from CCP President Xi before he makes a move.
"I never make a business decision without first consulting the great and magnificent President Xi, blessings on his name," said Cook in a statement. "My company lives to serve the People's Republic of China and The Chinese Communist Party, and I will resign myself to his divine will."
"If he gives the order, Twitter will be gone from the App Store."
Cook emphasized, however, that the popular Chinese spy and child exploitation app TikTok will always have a platform in the App Store. "TikTok is an essential tool for advancing Chinese interests around the world and for protecting my cheap slave labor in the country. It will never be removed."
Chinese authorities have thanked Cook for his statement and promised to have updated orders for the tech company within a week.
At publishing time, Google claimed they were not beholden to China in any way, but that they would do whatever Apple did.
https://babylonbee.com/news/apple-announces-they-are-prepared-to-pull-twitter-from-app-store-as-soon-as-president-xi-gives-the-order
Anti-Science Right-Wingers Protest Common Sense COVID Restrictions
According to sources, thousands of right-wing, anti-science extremists have converged in Shanghai to protest Chinese President Xi's common sense COVID restrictions.
"These science deniers are extremely dangerous," said CCP Propaganda Minister Yin-Yon Yangalong. "Our benevolent President Xi has locked thousands of people in their homes for several weeks for their own safety. This is a very compassionate and pro-science policy and anyone who questions it is a right-wing bigot."
The minister went on to explain that thousands have already been saved from COVID as they have starved to death or burned to death locked in their own apartments. "After extensive scientific research, we found that dead people are completely safe from being infected with COVID," he said, smiling.
Biden has offered his support to protestors in a public statement, saying: "Come on, man! Flarpjack mibbymufflins! Lardledoo!" The administration, however, quietly pledged support for President Xi, promising they would work with tech companies to silence dissent whenever possible.
At publishing time, Canadian PM Trudeau had also offered to help President Xi, citing his experience with trucker protests.
https://babylonbee.com/news/anti-science-right-wingers-protest-common-sense-covid-restrictions
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